Monthly Archives: May 2012

Hanging In There

I feel like lately I have been super whiny on some of my recent entries.  I hate being like that because it’s just not the kind of person I remember being.  But, I’m trying to hang in there.  Yesterday was probably one of the first days I felt mostly okay for the majority of the day.  I still didn’t sleep well last night, but I’m getting used to the idea that that will likely be the case until I move into my new apartment.  I know this doesn’t exactly fit the mold of a “healthy, influential person,” but if talking about this makes someone else want to go get better, too, then I’ll keep being open about it (thanks for the responses on my previous posts, it REALLY means a ton to me, really).

I’ve managed to stick to the Runner’s World Run Streak for three days now.  On Tuesday, I went to the gym (for the first time in for-ev-er) and knocked out a quick two miles on the treadmill in about 17:10.  Yesterday, I got home from work and felt totally zonked.  I took a 45 min nap, debated calling quits on the streak, then kicked my ass out of bed and put on my running shoes.  I ended up doing a small loop through the town.

Not too shabby.  I felt totally sweaty and definitely had major tomato face going on, but I did it!

Tres!  My forehead is huge and shiny in this pic.  Sweat 1 – Krissie 0.

I was kind of happy Scott decided to take dinner duty because I was so not interested in making anything, not even ramen noodles.  He’s quite the master of marinades and I wish I had him at least write down ingredients (he never measures anything) before I move out and have to re-create my own grilling recipes (yes, we’re still living together at the moment… we’re not on bad terms).

Marinated salmon on the grill, spinach salad, and steamed veggies.  I paired it with a Summer Love, of course.  ;)

While speculating the turns my life is taking, I was browsing through my old Deviantart account and tweeted this pic.

I don’t even think I can come remotely close to drawing like that right now, but looking at it makes me really want to get back into it.  I uploaded a bunch of pics to facebook that I had scanned way back in the day (I think the last time I really drew was in 2008 or 2009, but consistently we’re talking 2005).  Hopefully with my new space (15 days until I get my keys) I can set up a good space to get more creative.

So in conclusion, I still feel crazy, I miss drawing, and running feels good but still isn’t fixing my mood swings.

I Need More Weekend

Having a four day weekend was probably one of the better decisions I’ve made most recently.  Aside from accomplishing not much at all, I did manage to stock my fridge and take about 20 naps.  The fridge was most important though.

I obviously need to do a little bit of food shopping today as it seems beer is the only thing of which we have a good stock.  No complaints here!

I made plans Sunday evening to meet Krissy Monday morning for an early run on Kelly Drive.  I don’t know many other people who get up at 5:45am on Memorial Day, but we sure did!

No makeup, sporting my sweet Oakleys, and happy to be (mostly) awake.  Mostly…  I’m glad we made the early start because the run got real hot real fast.  I couldn’t imagine doing it any later than we planned, because I’d have probably keeled over, scared the crepes out of Krissy, and thus ended the only Running of the Krissy(ie)s to ever take place.  But, we did it!  I had tons of fun chatting about random life stuff, marathons, blogging, and other things while on the run.  This also kicked off my streak for the Runner’s World Run Streak (follow #RWRunStreak to join in or just spectate!).  Here’s the run synopsis:

I decided to make it nice and pretty for you.  Aren’t I creative?  Don’t answer that.  I wore my new New Balances and they felt amazing during the run.  Krissy also sported bright shoes as well.  I think it’s the trend of the year, so get on it, people!  Brights are the way to go.  Plus, eye bleeding colors on your feet make you feel happier, right?  We had to do a post-run photo op, and luckily walking part of the KD loop prevented me from looking like a total tomato.

I seriously cannot wait for Krissy to visit again.  Blog-friend meetups are so much fun, especially when exercise is involved (it makes it way easier, trust me).  Driving home I felt pretty happy and accomplished.  A blue bird could’ve landed on my shoulder.  Well, at least until I got home and saw this.

Sigh.  I don’t even get that mad about it anymore.  Instead of complaining, I just drove around and parked out front.  Our neighbors (that have done this multiple times themselves) are having their kitchen redone and the contractors still don’t seem to realize I PARK IN OUR GARAGE.  I definitely won’t miss that when I move out.

In other news, I painted my nails.  In spite of my low expectations, the fingers have yet to chip (emphasis on the yet).

I also still sort of had a mood slump by the end of the day.  No fun.  And that was my weekend.  It still didn’t feel long enough as I needed the biggest cup of coffee the caf offered today.

Weekends should really be longer.  Period.  The end.

Time to Fight

I decided to take off Friday last minute to give myself a four day weekend which so far has involved a lot of sleeping.  I seriously needed it.  But, I did get a few things in order.  Firstly, a beer run.  I think my favorite seasonal to date is still Victory’s Summer Love.  I forgot how wonderfully hopped it was until the other night.

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And can’t forget the anytime case of lager.  I had a nearly empty box of rolled oats and decided to use up the box by following the oatmeal cookie recipe on it.  This seemed like a good idea, my kitchen smelled amazing, and then when I tried to get them off the pan this happened…

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Cookie crumbles still taste fricken delicious.  But, I don’t think I’ll be using that recipe ever again.  Oh well.  There’s also been a good bit of kitty snuggling this weekend.

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And now we go from the mundane stuff to the serious stuff.  I hadn’t really heard about the Runner’s World Run Streak that begins tomorrow until I read Cherie’s post.  I think it’s awesome she’s making the effort to shy away from the dreaded comparison trap we all can fall into.  I, on the other hand, will be participating.  This isn’t because I want to see how I measure up to others.  This isn’t about whether I can do it or not.  This is about fighting myself, and I want to win.  I hope talking about my depression isn’t triggering to anyone and if it is seriously, I am giving you 2000000 e-hugs and saying that it’s okay to not read.

But, the truth is I am taking medications and am not overly thrilled it got to that point.  After a long discussion with my PCP about my weight not changing really over the last five weeks, I told her I was playing soccer and ran a half marathon.  She told me that as bad I probably feel some days, without that exercise I would likely feel a ton worse.  I don’t want to just up and stop them, but I want to get back to a point where I don’t need them, or as much of them.  That’s what this run streak is going to be for me.  A way to try to fight my feelings of being low and hopeless and see if the daily activity keeps the good moods up more frequently again.  I used to be called the happiest person some people knew.  I want to be that person again.  I want to wake up and be able to accept everything I am and not feel like I don’t deserve anything positive that happens or that it’s all my fault anything bad has happened.

To kick off tomorrow’s run streak, I’m meeting up with Krissy for an early, humid 5ish miles since she’s in town for the weekend.  I’m pretty excited for the run.  I also did something terribly crazy insane self-motivating and registered for my first marathon.  Yes.  Miss “this is my last long race” is going to run the Philadelphia Marathon and I’ve already lined up quite a few buddies for training motivation and runs.  I went a little Kindle happy and downloaded some books to read along the way.

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No, I’m not trying to lose weight.  I got a deal on that and liked a lot of the recipes.  :-P   I also pre-ordered Runner’s World’s newest book coming out in the beginning of June on half and full marathon training.  I’m feeling good about this decision and ready to take the reigns and face myself head on.  No one else can do this but me, and I’m tired of looking in the mirror every day and wishing I was someone and somewhere else.  I’m over that ish.  Right now.