I am finding it somewhat difficult to keep my mood up, even after having a lot of good things going on. This past weekend was a pretty good example. Friday night we made the drive out to Harrisburg to see one of our favorite DJs ever spin at a club. We’re sort of Twitter/Instagram friends, so after getting there I was able to chat with DJ Icey for a bit before his set. It was terribly cool as I’ve been such a big fan of his music for years, have seen him multiple times at Ultra Music Fest, and it was a rare (and cheap) occasion for him to be all the way up near Philly.
I don’t think I’ve smiled that big in a loooong time. I was able to get my groove on to some of the best breaks out there, and we had a total blast. He gave me a copy of his Automatic Static broadcast to listen to on the way home and it’s been on repeat in my car pretty much daily.
Saturday my co-ed team suffered a heartbreaking loss in the playoffs, but we were thrilled to have made it even that far for never knowing each other before the season. We’re already in talks to set up a team for the summer league. After the game, I rushed home to shower and make my way to my sister’s house for her hub’s birthday party. It was a great time filled with lots of good food and beer. I stayed way later than I planned and when I got home I sat down on the chair to fill Scott in on the evening and this apparently happened…
I guess I was a bit tired, hah. Sheila decided to cram her way into the small space left in the chair. She’s a funny kitty, always insisting on sleeping somewhere near me when I’m in the basement. :3
Sunday I was pretty useless and just spent the day relaxing and snoozing on and off. In spite of the weekend being particularly good, by Sunday evening I felt the mood dropping horribly and it’s been teetering between okay and awful for the last couple of days. It doesn’t seem like physical activity is helping much, or it could be and I’d just be in an even worse state without it. I’m meeting with my therapist on Thursday after work so hopefully we can come up with some ideas to help me maintain the ups when they do come along, because I am getting tired of feeling this way almost daily.
And, I know this may come across as whiny. I know there are people out there far worse than this, with so many more hardships to deal with. I have so many things I am definitely grateful for, but for whatever reason the little rain cloud just doesn’t seem to want to stop hovering over me. I’m not sure if being this open about it is a good thing, but I guess maybe talking about it is better than being secretive or pretending everything feels fine when it doesn’t. It sucks, and I can only hope as the weather turns warmer I’ll start to turn this around little by little. Fingers crossed, as always.