I am finding it somewhat difficult to keep my mood up, even after having a lot of good things going on. This past weekend was a pretty good example. Friday night we made the drive out to Harrisburg to see one of our favorite DJs ever spin at a club. We’re sort of Twitter/Instagram friends, so after getting there I was able to chat with DJ Icey for a bit before his set. It was terribly cool as I’ve been such a big fan of his music for years, have seen him multiple times at Ultra Music Fest, and it was a rare (and cheap) occasion for him to be all the way up near Philly.
I don’t think I’ve smiled that big in a loooong time. I was able to get my groove on to some of the best breaks out there, and we had a total blast. He gave me a copy of his Automatic Static broadcast to listen to on the way home and it’s been on repeat in my car pretty much daily.
Saturday my co-ed team suffered a heartbreaking loss in the playoffs, but we were thrilled to have made it even that far for never knowing each other before the season. We’re already in talks to set up a team for the summer league. After the game, I rushed home to shower and make my way to my sister’s house for her hub’s birthday party. It was a great time filled with lots of good food and beer. I stayed way later than I planned and when I got home I sat down on the chair to fill Scott in on the evening and this apparently happened…
I guess I was a bit tired, hah. Sheila decided to cram her way into the small space left in the chair. She’s a funny kitty, always insisting on sleeping somewhere near me when I’m in the basement. :3
Sunday I was pretty useless and just spent the day relaxing and snoozing on and off. In spite of the weekend being particularly good, by Sunday evening I felt the mood dropping horribly and it’s been teetering between okay and awful for the last couple of days. It doesn’t seem like physical activity is helping much, or it could be and I’d just be in an even worse state without it. I’m meeting with my therapist on Thursday after work so hopefully we can come up with some ideas to help me maintain the ups when they do come along, because I am getting tired of feeling this way almost daily.
And, I know this may come across as whiny. I know there are people out there far worse than this, with so many more hardships to deal with. I have so many things I am definitely grateful for, but for whatever reason the little rain cloud just doesn’t seem to want to stop hovering over me. I’m not sure if being this open about it is a good thing, but I guess maybe talking about it is better than being secretive or pretending everything feels fine when it doesn’t. It sucks, and I can only hope as the weather turns warmer I’ll start to turn this around little by little. Fingers crossed, as always.
That’s awesome that you were in the burg! I saw your instagram about being at Privado, but I figured there was just another one in Philly. You should have hollered girl, I would have met you for a drink!
I thought about it but then wondered if it was too late. I totally should have though. Our bar tab was stupidly cheap, too! The only downside was they allowed smoking inside. I forget there are still some places that allow that.
That is awesome that you got to meet your favorite DJ! It must have been such a cool moment!
Stay strong, girl! We all have our ups and downs but things DO get better. I promise they do. I am here always <3
I keep telling myself that, but some days it feels like I am sliding backwards. :-/ Hopefully the move will help. Less than a month to go.
lady, it’s YOUR blog (and you can whine if you want to.) Seriously, though, rather the honesty than some bull about WIAW being THE BEST EFFING DAY EVER and not telling us that you’re not feeling so hot as of late.
Your sleeping picture is adorable.
Thanks, lady. ^_^ I think it’s far more worthwhile to post about real feelings that are taking a front seat with me than cover it up with a bunch of food since I think people probably care more about me than what morsels I chose for a whole day. No offense to any other WIAW fans, but it just isn’t my style.
You know, there are always going to be people that are worse off than you, but that doesn’t make your feelings any less legitimate. We all have our highs and lows, and that’s totally normal. You just have to hold your head up and do whatever you need to get through it.
A friend tried to use that tactic to cheer me up when I was having a really, really low day. Instead of giving me a positive perspective, I still felt sad, but then also like a total a-hole for feeling sad. It was definitely counterproductive.
Don’t apologize girl, what you’re going through is valid and you deserve to talk about it. I’m glad there have been some ups though! I hope the therapist visit helps keep them going. It takes work, but it’s worth it!
Most days I just want to fast forward to the point where things are more hunky dorey again. I know that’s unrealistic and that I should embrace the process, but the limbo phase can get so overwhelming and draining. Thanks for the support as always. <3
The pic of you in the chair made me giggle. My roommate and I have both done the same thing- stayed on the couch for the night because the idea of going up/down stairs to our respective rooms is just too much!
Sorry it’s been a hard time of ups and downs. I’m sure you are tired of hearing “it does get better”, so instead I’ll just promise happy thoughts being sent your way.
Sending well wishes across the board… on a side note, that kitty picture is funny as poop (wasn’t sure if I could swear on this post).
I curse on and off here, so swearing is totally allowed.
It’s not whining
We’re all entitled to vent sessions! Work it out now instead of bottling it up!
definitely not whining! take care of yourself PNG